When you pepper your conversation with others and you address the other person in the third person, everything you say, or think carries more weight. What you say is more important. I’ve noticed lately that the people on reality TV and the music business feel the need to speak in the third person. I’ve noticed lately that Mick thinks he may have to hurt someone if Mick hears it again.
What does it take to gain this type of confidence to merit speaking in the third person? Perhaps it’s the environment of never-ending entertainment. We must be entertained every second of the day. We must listen to our I-pod as we blog on our laptop with HBO in the background. Because of that, if we don’t elevate our words to match our surroundings, speaking in the third person separates you from the other serfs who speak normally.
In the land of third person, the choices you make seem inconsequential. You don’t have to worry about how the other person feels. The only thing that matters is how you feel. Because after all, only you know exactly how you feel and you are the only person competent enough to comment about your own choice. Spontaneity is thrown out the window in the hamlet of the third person. Spontaneity requires another person in the equation. People who speak in the third person work alone.
It’s hard to judge the self-esteem of someone who speaks in the third person. Do they say their own name to validate their worth, or are they so cocky that they just love hearing themselves say their name? If they’re saying it to remind the other people in the room about their existence, it can have an opposite effect. In the end, the more the person speaks in the third person, the more the listener erases the name being drummed in the listeners head.
As a lead singer, I’m not a stranger to the concept of the third person. You have to put yourself in every song you sing. It’s not as blatant as actually saying your name in the song, (I don’t sing MICK STERLING WEARS HIS WAR WOUND LIKE A CROWN, to the tune of LEVON), but I’m in each song I sing. While I want what I sing to express something about me, the melody is what separates the singer from the third person. Unless you are performing in Spoken Word, it’s damn near impossible to sing a song in the third person. Mick is thankful for that.
Pregnant women should get a pass to speak in the third person. They deserve any and all opportunities to express to everyone how much their pregnancy is changing their bodies. Let’s not even talk about the actual birth. Every pregnant woman should preface everything they feel with how it’s affecting them. If it bugs us, too damn bad. They have a bowling ball living inside that has to emerge from a space the size of a mini-donut.
It could be argued that speaking in the third person is a sin against God. Even God when he made himself known to Moses didn’t say, “The Burning Bush has been waiting for you Moses”. God said, I AM THAT I AM (I know this because of Charlton Heston, so my knowledge of this isn’t all that impressive). My point is, even God has the courtesy not to speak in the third person. Are people who speak in the third person more important than God? I guess it depends on what’s going on in their life at the time, or if they had enough coffee in the morning.
Our lives are increasingly becoming a solitary existence. We still feel the need to communicate and touch people, but physicality and the spoken word is not necessary anymore to communicate your thoughts. Because of those things, maybe people are so unaccustomed to actually speaking to someone in person that they feel the need to lend more importance to the interplay if they speak in the third person. Or, maybe they just weren’t brought up right. It could go either way I suppose.
One thing is for certain, as long as our icons speak in the third person, we’ll follow suit. My wife Kristi reminded me yesterday of the ultimate third person declaration from Mary J. Blige. Mary was asked to what she attributes her long success in the music business. Her reply was this; “Mary J. Blige is humble”. When you’re as big as Mary J. Blige, or any superstar, your name is a company that has employees that depend on that name, so speaking in the third person can be a declaration that she knows that there’s her public face and then there’s a private face. But her declaration was false. Her brand name isn’t humble. Humble doesn’t sell records. Her declaration was a true testament to how she understands that her public face and her brand name face are one in the same. In her world, she is humble. Interesting and a little bit sad.
Mick has run out of ideas for this column. Mick needs a sandwich. Mick wishes someone would make him a sandwich.
